when i no longer shiver from the thought of you.
when i can think of what scares me without struggling to breathe.
that is when i'll know i'm there.
then i will be ready,
ready to face the day.
ready to smile about the past.
ready to be ok.
i won't have any tears to dry,
& i won't be afraid of you.
i will love myself,
& i will no longer hate you.
someone will ask how i am,
i will say i'm happy,
& i'll mean it.
I will be free of the shame,
of the fear,
of the nightmares,
& most importantly,
of you.
this will happen one day.
after i heal,
then i will live.
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